Poppie’s a Little Sloppy
(S5:E15) A lot of feelings of disgust are relatable. Like seeing someone spit on the sidewalk, for example. After viewing something like that you start wondering how many people’s DNA sludge you step on over the course of the day. Another two examples are people sneezing and coughing without covering their mouths, especially if they are right in front of you. So, in addition to stepping on a stranger’s phlegm, you are also victim of walking through their cloud of germ vapor. At that point you ask yourself, “How am I not dead yet?” Don’t even get me started with people who crop dust.
Jerry’s pet peeves as a germaphobe are no different, so naturally when he sees Poppie NOT do something, it shakes him to the core.
He’s just settling in to have a nice dinner with his new girlfriend Audry, whose father (Poppie) happens to own the restaurant. As any good healthy person should do, Jerry goes to the bathroom to wash up. While he’s there he meets Poppie again, who just finished relieving himself. Sad part is after the pipe drain, Poppie didn’t wash his hands. Naturally, Jerry is on edge the rest of the night because all he can think about is Poppie mashing his urine and/or fecal covered fingers through the pizza dough. Interestingly enough, a few days later The Board of Health wants to talk to Poppie but we never really know if it was because of the lack of Poppie’s hygiene. No clearcut reason from the inspector but let’s assume it’s because Poppie’s a little sloppy. Jerry thinks so anyway so what else really matters. This led me to ponder the question, besides being a germaphobe and naturally paranoid person, what was Jerry afraid of? Well, I think the two that stand out might be Hepatitis B and a Urinary Tract Infection. When you add fecal matter, the door opens wider to afflictions like Salmonella, E.coli and norovirus. I’m wondering. Let’s get back to Poppie.
So, a big question…did Poppie also do number two? He might have, considering he came out of a stall however, I tend not to believe so. For one thing, he gestured “zipping up” his fly before leaving the bathroom (how he did that was incredibly hard considering he was wearing an apron, but I digress). The other reason I think it was just pee was because in an encounter a year later, Poppie decided to relieve himself on Jerry’s couch (S6:E5). He didn’t take a dump on it, oh no. Just a calm, relaxing urination session. I would love to hear your thoughts. You think number one, number two or both?
Whichever body part Poppie used, it was clear there was no sanitary follow-up prior to the dough kneading. I am sure the 700-degree pizza oven (600 if you listen to George in S1:E4 ), would have burned off any germs but you can’t tell Jerry that. I also think it’s incredibly ironic that a few years earlier, Jerry decided to GO in a public parking garage (S3:E6) and blame it on Uromysitisis Poisoning (a made-up condition). Regardless of the fake affliction, there was no opportunity to wash his hands at that time, and he had to know that when he zipped up. I guess he wasn’t going to make pizza later that day. Oh well.